Sunday, February 23, 2014

Zeno's Conscience

            In Zeno’s Conscience: My Father’s Death, he mentions the loss of both parents but his father’s death is what destroyed him mentally.  I am unaware how it feels to lose a parent, let alone both, but I can imagine Zeno’s loneliness.  Zeno writes, “Until his death, I did not live for my father. I made no effort to be close to him … We were never so close or so long together as in my time of mourning.” (32).   Like the familiar saying “you do not know what you have until it is gone” is the realization Zeno experiences first hand.    Zeno, recognizing the end was near for his father sought to enjoy what little time remained.  Zeno’s experience in this chapter made me aware of the importance of not taking for granted time spent with family and loved ones.
            Death is the final stage of life and an inevitable reality.   One day we will all experience it.  I, on occasion, contemplate such finality, and though it is inescapable, it is difficult to fully comprehend.    Zeno says he also wonders about the mystery of death and that is all it can ever be, a mystery.  “…Who can say what may happen by tomorrow, or in half an hour’s time?” (51).  In other words, the future is unknown.  It is not worth our time to worry about what is to come but, rather, what is happening at this very moment.  Life is precious and should be appreciated.

During my childhood, at the age of six, my grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack.  I was too young at the time to fully understand death and its finality.      Being only six years old and having not lived near my grandfather I had not established a close bond with him; however it did not mean I did not love him.   He was still an important person in my life and it took a matter of time for me to realize what his passing meant and that I would never see him again.  Just as Zeno commends his father’s life, I, too, do the same.  I dedicate every swim race to him by pointing my index fingers towards the sky before stepping onto the blocks, knowing that he is watching.

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